I want to forgive myself for deeds done
selfish confusing hurtful indulgent
I seem to be sending out love in multi-directions
to one man devoted
to another who behaves selfishly as I do
add in the allure of motherhood
these babies of young women
the neediness, the responsibility, the beauty, the miracle
how could I celebrate that now
when my life is at the helm?
waiting for direction
waiting for the signal to follow the path of contentment
and growth-without a soul fracturing
I carry my heart in my hands
a beautiful dark crystal
I carry myself only
I ask forgiveness
I ask for peace.
